Don’t look before you jump: my thoughts on courage

Picture this. You’re on a beautiful island in the middle of nowhere, having a beer with a stranger on a clifftop bar. You're looking out at a dark blue ocean spotted with surfers trying to catch a good wave. All around you the locals occasionally stand up and jump off the cliff and into the water.

Do you dare to take the jump?

I did.

Since I started solo traveling, I’ve noticed a pattern among people from all around the world. Most humans have the notion that, to achieve great things, you must have confidence in yourself.

People I left back home have told me they lack the confidence to travel alone. Others I’ve met around here have said they need more confidence to start that business, sell that piece of art, to go for what they really want.

We all seem to have this idea that you need to believe in yourself to make things happen, but what if we’re wrong? What if there’s actually another way to achieve greatness?

In Southeast Asia, the most common mode of transportation is motorbikes. If you want to hit the beautiful sunsets and amazing viewpoints, you can either rent a bike or convince someone else to drive you.

When you’re solo traveling, you have to learn to rely on yourself. Travel constantly presents you with challenging situations that have to be solved by you and you alone.

In Thailand, I knew I couldn’t rely on meeting nice and safe people and ask them to drive me around, so I decided to teach myself how to ride a bike. After a few crashes, now I can say I feel confident driving around and even giving others the occasional ride.

The last island I visited posed a new set of challenges for driving a scooter. The tiny bumpy roads, full of hills, cliffs, and fast cars, make it almost impossible not to have an accident. The first day I sat at breakfast with a bunch of strangers and confessed I was too scared to drive around by myself —turns out, every single one of them felt the same.

That's when it hit me.

No one felt confident about their abilities to do this, yet everyone decided to give it a go because they knew it was worth it.

So this is my conclusion.

I think confidence is overrated.

I think most people aren’t really as confident as they seem.

I think the thing we should be searching for is not confidence, but courage.

The courage to do something that scares us. The courage to take the jump and figure it out along the way.

You cannot know how the fall is going to be. You cannot escape the first time. But you can choose to try and learn along the way.

Jumping off that cliff was one of the most intense feelings I’ve had. The only real reason why I went through with it was because (1) the locals explained to me how to do it safely, and (2) I chose not to look down and just took the leap. That, I think, was courage.

Maybe courage is needed in the act of doing, and confidence comes in the act of perfecting.

When I think about it, I guess I’ve experienced this many times. When starting my company, doing my first stand-up comedy show, telling someone I loved them for the first time.

Now I’m not trying to say that confidence is not important because I really think it is. I've actually been working hard on trusting myself. On feeling good about what I’m doing. But I believe confidence comes after courage.

Maybe courage is needed in the act of doing, and confidence comes in the act of perfecting.

So if there is something you’ve always wanted to do but felt you didn’t have the confidence to try just yet… I challenge you to try it at least once.

Close your eyes, and don’t look before you jump.

I’m telling you, it just might be the ride of your life.